Marriage

Growing Love in Christian Marriage: The Official Marriage Manual of the United Methodist Church, Joan & Richard Hunt, Abingdon Press, 2003. ISBN 0687036607

 

The Power of a Praying Wife, Stormie Omartian, Harvest House Publishers, ISBN 1565075722, 1997

The author shares how God has strengthened her own marriage since she began to pray for her husband concerning key areas of his life.  She shares these thirty areas in a readable, relevant book.  Along with real life illustrations, Stormie also includes sample prayers and “power tools” – verses that inspire and encourage - helping wives rest in the assurance of God’s wonderful promises of restoration, renewal and growth in marriage.

 

Love, Sex, and Lasting Relationships: God’s Prescription for Enhancing Your Love Life, Chip Ingram, Baker Books, ISBN 0801012546, 2003

“There is a better way to find love, stay in love, and grow in intimacy for a lifetime”, says Chip Ingram.  It’s God’s way.  With hope and certainty he explains how God’s prescription for relationships creates a love that lasts.  A love you can enjoy.  Whether single, single again, or wanting more from your marriage, you can begin the delightful journey toward a lasting, loving relationship.  This practical, insightful book will show you how.

 

One Home at a Time: Restoring the Soul of America Through God’s Plan for Your Marriage and Family, Dennis Rainey, Focus on the Family Publishing, ISBN 1561795453, 1997

One Home at a Time provides the clarity and direction today’s family needs to be the strong, supportive, spiritual institution God designed it to be.  Armed with these key principles, you’ll experience the immense difference that comes from molding your life, marriage, and family around the Bible’s truths.   Commit yourselves to the Family Manifesto- a definitive statement of faith that provides each member of your family with a distinct, divine purpose – and be prepared for life-changing results!

Moments Together for Couples, Dennis and Barbara Rainey, Regal Books, ISBN 0830717544, 1995

Take time out of each day to relax and grow together.  In the midst of the stress and pressure of everyday life, Moments Together for Couples will give you and your mate a chance to pause, relax and draw upon the strength of the Lord.  This easy-to-use devotional helps you set aside anywhere from 5-30 minutes every day with your spouse to grow closer to God and closer to each other.

NightLight for Parents: A Devotional. James & Shirley Dobson, Multnomah Publishers Inc., 2002

It is commonly accepted knowledge that parents who have a strong marital relationship will positively impact their families. One way in which to provide structure for a couple’s communication is to have a nightly devotional time for prayer and conversation. The Dobson’s book (along with their volume of devotionals for “couples”) is one  way parents can structure time for intimacy.

A Daring Promise: A Spirituality of Christian Marriage. Dr. Richard Gaillardetz, Crossroad General Interest, 2002, ISBN # 0824519353.

 

 

Books and Other helps

 

PARENTING AND GRANDPARENTING

 

Each individual expresses and sends love through different communication styles. Gary Chapman & Ross Campbell stress that it is important to know which style best fits you, your spouse, and each of your children. Five important styles of communicating love can be used to “fill up” our children’s “love tanks” include: words of affirmation, quality time, gifts, acts of service and physical touch.

 

Jim Burns believes that one of the most important factors in being a happy healthy family is reducing stress in our lives. Easy to say, but hard to do! Many families today live in a crisis mode of overloaded schedules that leads to relationship difficulties because of over-commitment and exhaustion. Not only are we physically tired, emotionally “wired,” and starved for attention from family and friends, but we also begin to move our spiritual life from a passion for God to rote prayers and dull faith. Healthy homes have less stress and more margin between current loads and outer limits. Families accomplish this only by “ruthlessly eliminating stress” - by learning to say “NO” to over-involvement even in “good” activities.

 

Robert & Debra Bruce and Ellen W. Oldacre address the issue of the pervasive sense of guilt many Christian parents feel that they don’t measure up to “perfect parenting.” Trying to be perfect is a trap of unrealistic expectations  that only leads to anxiety, overwork and ultimate exhaustion. Feeling guilty can be helpful if it nudges you to make changes that will improve your life, but too much or misplaced guilt leads to less productivity and depression. Become aware of the talents God has and has not given you and accept your human limitations of time, energy and talents. Be willing to ask God for guidance in parenting and other issues and seek the fellowship and support of other caring parents.

 

The Grandparent Guide: The Definitive Guide to Coping with the Challenges of Modern Grandparenting, Arthur Kornhaber. McGraw-Hill, 2002.

Kornhaber, one of the leading experts on grandparenting, identifies spiritual guidance as one of many roles for grandparents. Kornhaber says, "Acting as a spiritual guide involves teaching your grandchild to harvest such fruits of the spirit as love, tolerance, compassion, reverence, joy, peace, gentleness, faith and kindness." While parents also teach these values, their main attention in on providing for their children daily care, education, and social skill development . But grandparents can transcend immediate needs and focus on soul nurturing. By setting positive examples, a grandparent can counter balance some of society's toxicity. Some of Kornhaber's specific suggestions include demonstrating honesty by driving the speed limit, returning excess change at the counter, sharing reverence for creation, helping others in need, respecting others’ beliefs, showing compassion to all, and involving grandchildren in your own rituals of faith when visiting with them.

Games Grandmas Play: Life Lessons on Christian Faith and Grandchildren. Joan Jacobs. Geneva Press, 2001.
ISBN # 0-664-50150-8.

Jacobs, a graduate of Fuller Theological Seminary, combines theology, life experience, humor, and creative ideas to provide practical tips and spiritual wisdom for connecting the generations. In this short book, Jacobs uses the format of a game in each chapter to discuss issues like choices, teamwork, handling disappointments and other issues.

Putting Family First: Successful Strategies for Reclaiming Family Life in a Hurry-Up World. William J. Doherty and Barbara Z. Carlson. Henry Holt and Company, 2002. ISBN# 0-8050-6838-4.

The authors are the founders of the Putting Family First organization. They have a vast amount of experience in supporting families in our fast-paced and often toxic society. From the back of the book, we find these statistics highlighted: “In the past twenty years, children’s free time has declined by twelve hours a week; time spent on structured sports activities has doubled; family dinners are down by a third; and the number of families taking vacations together has decreased by 28 percent.”  Family members must be intentional about nurturing their relationships and providing opportunities for connecting with one another. This book looks not only at family-choices about how we parent, but also gives innovative ideas about setting priorities, dealing with conflicts, and creating meaningful family rituals.

Parenting in the Pew: Guiding Your Children Into the Joy of Worship, Expanded Edition. Robbie Castleman. InterVarsity Press, 2002. ISBN # 0-8308-2340-9.

Castleman combines humor, sound theology, and practical and creative ideas for making worship meaningful for children. This expanded edition includes specific suggestions for how parents can best meet the needs of hyperactive children in worship. Castleman also believes that specific children’s worship service (often preferred by “seekers”) should be used only if it is a time of preparing children to participate in the liturgy of the whole congregation. Castleman also includes discussion questions that make it ideal to use not only in small group settings but also for personal reflection.

Meditations for Single Moms. Susanne Coalson Donoghue. Herald Press, 1997. ISBN # 0-8361-9061-0.

This book contains thirty sets of inspirational message appropriate for the single mom. Single parenting brings with it a unique set of challenges. As church families, we need to be ready to support the single mom or dad as they face stress, suffering and grief issues. Books like this one make a good addition to your library of other devotional materials.

Diapers, Pacifiers, and Other Holy Things: Words of encouragement for mothers of preschoolers. Lorraine Pintus. Chariot Victor Publishing, 1995. ISBN # 0-7814-0246-8.

This is another great resource for a specialized subset of parents. The book contains thirty-one short chapters that suit a busy parent likely to be easily interrupted by young children with immediate needs. The humorous or inspirational stories in each chapter can be read during breast feeding sessions or on short trips to the bathroom.  Each chapter concludes with a “Time Out” set of questions for personal or group reflections.

What Parents Need to Know When Parents Get Divorced: A Book to Read with Children Going Through the Trauma of Divorce. William L. Coleman. Bethany House Publishers, 1998. ISBN # 0-7642-2051-9.

Coleman, a licensed family counselor, provides guidance for caring adults to discuss this critical issue with children whose parents are divorcing. This book is meant to generate discussion as an adult reads with the child. Topics include how to communicating the uniqueness and importance of each child, how to reassure the child of both parents’ continuing love, how to encourage children to talk about painful subjects, and how to help children continue to connect with both parents. Spending this kind of quality time with our children reminds them of God’s love for them. This book is a great addition to a church library of resources for children whose parents are divorcing.

FaithHome for Parents. Abingdon Press, 1999. ISBN #

Parenting Today’s Adolescent, Helping Your Child Avoid the Traps of the Preteen and Teen Years, Dennis and Barbara Rainey, Thomas Nelson Publishers, 1998. ISBN 0785270841

In Parenting Today’s Adolescent, the Rainey’s draw from their own experiences raising six children, teaching hundreds of preadolescents in Sunday school, and speaking with parents throughout America to provide them a mapped-out plan for adolescence.  Topics include friends, and peer pressure, clothes and appearance, dating and sex, music and movie choices, jobs and more.  The book presents strategies you can put immediately into action to guide your child to a responsible and God- honoring adulthood.

The Power of a Praying Parent, Stormie Omartian, Harvest House Publishers, 1995. ISBN 1565073541
         
Thirty topically based chapters guide parents in how to pray comprehensively for their child(ren).  The book addresses various areas of concern and struggle in raising children from cradle through young adulthood.  Each chapter includes the authors own experiences and perspective on the topic followed by a sample prayer and a listing of scriptures pertaining to that particular subject.

The Disconnected Generation: Saving Our Youth from Self Destruction, Josh McDowell, W Publishing Group, 2000.  ISBN 084994077X

In The Disconnected Generation, Josh provides a biblical blueprint for entering your children’s world to make that connection at an emotional level so deep that no cultural influence can destroy it.  He will help you discover the six relational connection points vital to your young person’s development.  And you will learn that such connections will give young people their needed sense of authenticity, importance, security, significance, lovability, and responsibility.

The New Learning about Sex Series: A Series for the Christian Family
Book 1: Why Boys and Girls are Different: Ages __________
Book 2: Where Do Babies Come From: For Ages 6-8 and parents, ISBN 0570084822
Book 3:  How You Are Changing: Ages ______________
Book 4: Sex and the New You: Ages 11-14, ISBN 0570035651
Book 5: Love, Sex and God: Ages 14 – Young Adult, ISBN 057003566X
Book 6: How to Talk Confidently with Your Child about Sex: Parents Guide, ISBN 0570035678
Book 7: Human Sexuality: A Christian Perspective

From preschoolers to adults, the new Learning About Sex series makes the awesome gift of sexuality understandable to all.  Age-appropriate language and graphics throughout the seven books ensure that the reader is not getting too much or too little information.  The first six books aid parents and teachers in the often difficult task of introducing and explaining the wonderful, God-given gift of sexuality.  The seventh book speaks to adults, both single and married, to provide a practical, biblically based guide to the spiritual, emotional, and physical aspects of human sexuality.

One Home at a Time: Restoring the Soul of America Through God’s Plan for Your Marriage and Family, Dennis Rainey, Focus on the Family Publishing, 1997. ISBN 1561795453

One Home at a Time provides the clarity and direction today’s family needs to be the strong, supportive, spiritual institution God designed it to be.  Armed with these key principles, you’ll experience the immense difference that comes from molding your life, marriage, and family around the Bible’s truths.   Commit yourselves to the Family Manifesto- a definitive statement of faith that provides each member of your family with a distinct, divine purpose – and be prepared for life-changing results!

 


Books and more helps - Family Faith Formation

 

This book is ideal for today’s busy family whose days are filled with many activities and little time for lengthy devotions. Daily devotions are provided from September through May. Selections may include a brief scripture, litany, faith-filled story or simple activity. Families with elementary-aged children can take 10 to 15 minutes to focus on their faith lives at morning or bedtimes. Perfect for providing a structure to find for faith conversation in busy lives.

 

          William Doherty talks about the need to plan intentionally for those activities that will allow a family to bond through rituals and traditions. He notes that an “intentional” family is one whose members create a plan for building and maintaining family ties. Doherty says that intentional families observe rituals that may be seasonal, celebrate specific occasions, and are involved with community. A ritualized activity is repeated, coordinated, predictable, significant, able to connect family members with core values, yet flexible enough to change if not working and able to survive periods of neglect. The basic enemies of rituals are those forces that pull family members into divergent tracks; ie – busy work schedules, consumerism, extracurricular activities, or members zoning out with various forms of media. Doherty recommends improving the quality of the activities a family is already doing (like mealtime or bedtime rituals) while at the same time reducing activities that interrupt and distract from family time together. (like TV, computer, CD’s ).

 

In another of her groundbreaking resources, Halverson gives practical advice with many specific ideas to help parents build a foundation for Christian faithfulness in their children. This book would be ideal for a small study group or for individuals who are seeking practical wisdom in understanding how to deepen the faith lives of their children. Any parent faced with tough questions from children would find particularly helpful the chapter on “Introducing Death and Heaven.”
 

 

This book is a great resource for church leaders who are looking for activities that can be used for families within various church settings. There are easy to use sidebars with research information and practical insights. This book not only emphasizes how important family ministry is, it offers concrete ways that families can strengthen faith in the home setting.

 

Downing’s book gives ideas to parents and grandparents on helping their children grow into Christian disciples. Her book contains ideas, suggestions, and activities for making prayer vital, reading the Bible, developing faith traditions, and dealing with crisis times. For example, Downing gives several strategies for making prayer a part of family life, such as using prayers of lullabies and songs for babies. She notes that praying as a family helps each member develop a stronger relationship with God and equips children to live a full Christian life. Downing emphasizes that praying for our children puts them in God’s hands and assures us that we are not alone in caring for them.

Downing suggests using not only regularly scheduled times of prayers at mealtimes and bedtimes, but also “teachable moments” of joy and sadness, celebration of natural wonders and times of uncertainty to share prayers. She encourages you to let your children KNOW you are praying for specific things to happen in their lives, to keep a journal of prayer times in which you write prayers for your family and a record of prayer requests and answers so that you can share these with your children.

 

Cloyd provides a guide for understanding how children of different ages relate to God. This books gives concrete ideas for how to teach children about prayer. Especially interesting are the interviews Cloyd conducted with children of different ages about their specific thoughts on prayer. This book not only includes additional study resources but also is beneficial for parents as well as those who teach children in a ministry setting.

 

 

Marjorie Thompson’s book is essential for anyone who is concerned about helping our families to fulfill the core purpose of forming Christian disciples. In today’s society, families are increasingly at-risk and in need of support. Thompson proposes that the church has a very definite responsibility to support families in this task of spiritual formation within the home. She believes that congregations need to support families in their efforts to set priorities when faced with overwhelming demands on time, to support couples through their years of change, and to augment parenting skills especially within the dimension of spiritual nurture. Churches can furnish workshops, retreats, family service opportunities, and guidance for seasonal celebrations and spiritual disciplines within the home, support during times of crisis, and other practical resources and ministries that “help families of faith perceive themselves as embodiments of the church in their home life together.”

 

Jan Johnson notes that although it may be true that some people are naturally more caring and generous than others, research shows that compassion can be taught or “caught” by children whose parents have provided learning experiences in the midst of a self-absorbed society. The word “intentional” crops up again as Johnson says parents must plan for substantive, compassionate learning experiences in the midst of our crowded schedules and multiple commitments. Remembering the words of Micah 6:8, “What does the Lord require of you but to do justice, love kindness and to walk humbly with your God,” Johnson offers strategies for families to be able to “live more simply so that others may simply live.”

 

Wigger is a professor of Christian education and Director of the Center for Congregations and Family Ministries at Louisville Seminary. From the book jacket we find that this book “provides both a biblical model and practical suggestions for helping the entire family become aware of God’s presence in everyday life. He thoughtfully reveals the powerful formative influence of family life and shows that homes are the places where some of the deepest, most important learning takes place.” Wigger gives practical examples from his own life that encourages all parents to examine more closely what is happening in their own homes. This book “offers parents a wise blend of storytelling, biblical interpretation, and suggestions for family practice.”

 

Sometimes families will hesitate to participate in Sunday school class in addition to worship services because they feel that this is still one more hour in which they are separated from one another. This book has numerous suggestions for lessons that enable parents and children to learn their Christian faith in an intergeneration setting. These activities are shared in such a way that they could also be effectively used in a retreat setting or during in a mid-week program format. Halverson is a gifted Christian educator whose many books have positively impacted our congregation’s programming for years.

 

 

The blurb on the back of Persky’s book says it all: “Every parent is really a potter: one who molds and shapes. Living in God’s Time shows parents how to intentionally mold into their children a daily awareness of God. Persky takes the reader through the Christian year by explaining the foundational importance of each season to our inner rhythms of spiritual growth. She then gives ideas for family activities and liturgies to share in moments of family worship. The reader gradually becomes attuned to the intentional and unintentional shaping his or her children experience daily. The book also includes a guide for parents to share their growing experiences in small group sessions.” Through this book, “parents and children alike learn to reflect daily on God’s movement in daily life and to consider who and whose they are.”

 

Another practical resource for families who want suggestions for devotions daily throughout the year.

 

 

Elizabeth Caldwell is a profession of educational ministry at McCormick Theological Seminary. She points out that just because parents have brought their children to the church to be baptized or confirmed doesn’t mean that they are prepared to answer their children’s hard questions about faith. This book provides “guidance to parents and caregivers who want to take an active role in the faith development of their children.” This book includes questions for reflection that make is appropriate for study by individuals or groups.

 

 

Jeffrey Jones, an ordained minister serving within the American Baptist Church, is an author, speaker and retreat leader. In this book, he “shows you how to attend to your own inner spiritual life and to the quality of your relationships within your family. By doing so you re-envision parenting as a transformative, joyful, and spiritual practice rather than merely a set of rules and regulations or tips and techniques.” This book includes questions and suggestions for use by small groups or in a retreat setting.

 

For families who want to spend more time on spiritual conversation and activities, this book is a valuable resource. Each month has six different chapters which include a scriptural focus, suggestions for “walking” and “talking” your faith, fun follow-up activities, prayer, “ponderings” to encourage deeper thinking, and a space for journaling. This book provides a structured way to spend quality faith time weekly.

 

 

An excellent resource designed for families with elementary-aged children. Devotional materials for about 10 to 15 minutes of your time are given for every day from September through May. Included are prayers, litanies, scripture, and fun stories for every day, including special ideas for seasonal sacramental times.

 

This book is ideal for helping educators and parents understand the various theories about faith development – from Fowler to Westerhoff to Gillespie. Peters also spends time reviewing Piaget’s cognitive, Erikson’s psychosocial and Kohlberg’s moral development theories as they relate to faith development. Then Peters shows what these theories means specifically for each year of development from preschool through high school. Suggestions are given for specific learning activities that appeal to each grade.

 

John Westerhoff was professor of theology and Christian nurture at Duke University Divinity School for twenty years. In revisiting his 1976 classic, Westerhoff continues to believe that we have so bought into the educational instructional model of teaching Sunday school that we have failed to provide opportunities for older Christians to share their faith directly with the younger generation. Westerhoff emphasizes that the Christian faith cannot be relegated entirely to hourly, Sunday morning classes. Passing the faith must occur within many contexts including the family, the church family, and the church school. Learning the facts about religion is not enough. Westerhoff provides many ideas of how we can become more effective communities in nourishing and nurturing our children’s faith.

 


Camping

Reconnecting Time: Planning Time for Families. Carolyn Craig, Discipleship Resources, 2005, ISBN # 0881774588