Where, how did you learn
about human sexuality?

My parents never discussed human sexuality with the four of us children growing up on a farm in the Texas Panhandle. I got the message that sex was scary and that good people didn’t talk about it.
We went to the Methodist Church in Littlefield. We were active in worship, Sunday school and Methodist Youth Fellowship. Our church tried to address human sexuality by having a series of MYF programs on Sunday evenings. Adults talked to us about dating and marriage.
At the end of the series—and it happened exactly this way—the pastor, a family physician and the male MYF sponsors took us junior high boys into the pastor’s study. We stood around in a circle all staring at the same spot on the carpet. The pastor asked, “Now, do any of you have any questions about sex?”
You can imagine that no one spoke up in that setting.
I went to Texas A&M University, where I found Christian community at the Wesley Foundation. We had many Bible studies, worship services and retreats, but I don’t remember human sexuality being the focus of any of them.
At Southern Methodist Univer-sity’s Perkins School of Theology in the late 1970s, I received a hint about the relationship of faith to sexuality. In one class C. Wayne Banks, a clergy member of the Southwest Texas Conference, introduced us to a new curriculum The Untied Methodist Church was developing.
In my first assignment as associate pastor at St. John’s UMC, Austin, my wife and I were asked to be small-group leaders for junior-high students using the new curriculum. We spent a whole weekend talking with young people and their parents about God and sexuality.
I probably got more out of that weekend than anyone else, finally receiving a biological and theological context for all the hormones and feelings I had had in junior high.
I have since received further training to become a certified consultant in human sexuality and have led many events. The United Methodist Church has excellent resources: Created by God for fourth through sixth graders and Let’s be Real for teenagers.
As I have shared my story, I have found that I am not unique. Many of us got little teaching about human sexuality from our families or the church.
I wonder how many churches in our conference have a human sexuality workshop for youths and their parents? How many of us pastors preach on topics like marriage, divorce, homosexuality, adultery, living together, sexual abuse, Internet pornography addiction, sexually transmitted diseases, abortion, etc.?
To get personal, my brother David, age 50, died Dec. 27, 2005, because a duodenal ulcer ruptured. He had two sexually transmitted diseases that prevented his body from responding to treatment.
I performed his funeral Dec. 30, my wife’s and my 27th wedding anniversary. It was a sad day. I miss David terribly. I longed for a more honest discussion with my family and church as I grew up.
I continue to lead human sexuality seminars in the hope that more parents and children come to know about this great gift in God’s creation.
I will be helping with a dialogue session on sexuality June 8 during the Southwest Texas Annual Conference session. I invite you to reflect on your experience and to be prepared to share your story.